Format C (a song parody)

Ok, I have to preface this a bit. I wrote this waaaay back when I was a computer tech. 1996 / 1997… somewhere in there. I did phone support for users who bought new computers at one of the big box stores.

You have to understand – this was early in the computer age – home computers were not all that common yet. So we had a lot of callers calling about the nuances of the double click and such. You haven’t been frustrated until you try to walk a 68-year old grandmother through configuring her modem (“what version of windows do you have, Mrs. Johnson?”… “Oh, I don’t have windows – I’m in the basement”) . Yea, like that.

And some callers got really rude, too, because they were exasperated that they spent three grand on a machine they couldn’t figure out (what do you MEAN it doesn’t come with the Internet already inside it?? Do you know how much I paid? I DEMAND that you fix this, you @#$%ing computer nerd.) 

We couldn’t be rude to these people, so we did the next best thing – whenever someone got rude, we’d walk them through formatting their hard drive. That’s right, we’d kill a mosquito with a tank. Lesson to be learned here: don’t be rude to the tech unless you have all of your precious data backed up. And since you were calling me because you couldn’t find the “any” key (as in “press any key”), you likely didn’t.

So, me being me, I started a little “tech support humor” website (Night Owl’s Lair) that proved to be very popular with fellow techs. And this was a little song I wrote about the format:

Sung to the tune of the Beatles “Let it Be”

*ahem*

When a user calls me with some trouble
And I feel that he’s been rude to me
I speak my words of wisdom

Format C

In the users hour of darkness
the solution’s right in front of me
Owl’s words of wisdom

Format C

Format C, Format C,
Format C, yea Format C
Theeeeere goes your data – Format C

And when the broken hearted user
gives me the “no backups” plea
I giggle when I tell him

Format C

Even though they may be angry
Still a chance that they will see
How much I enjoy saying it

Format C

Format C, Format C
Format C, Yea, Format C
Owl’s words of wisdom – Format C

The user frets and he is grouchy
There’s still a light that gives me glee,
Until he calls tomorrow,

Format C.

I hang up to the sound of swearing
another user angry at me
Because he didn’t back up

Format C

Fomat C, Format C
Format C, yea Format C

theeeeere goes your data
Format C