Success Theory

(once you get past the beginning, you'll see this is a page with tons of short "life success" tips...)

I'm satisfied with my life. I'm a pretty happy guy, in a great marriage, with a fun, fulfilling career, and a nice home-life. And this stuff is pretty clear from the outside, so I've been asked a lot over the years for "life advice". Which is cool - I definitely think I have something to offer in this area.

However, I'm not into "life coaching" or the like. I just don't want to get involved on a personal level with people. I'll get involved in entrepreneur and business stuff all day, but I'll shy away from giving you outright marriage or personal financial advice (etc).

That doesn't mean I won't help. In fact, I have strong opinions on living a successful, happy life. There's a future book in me on this stuff. But for now, I'll just give you some free thoughts on success. So there's nothing to sell on this page. Just read this (rather long and somewhat random) page and take from it what you will. I truly do feel I have something good to share - I've changed my life for the better over the past 15 years, and I KNOW what I do works.

A small disclaimer before we start: I define success by being happy. And I don't mean "talk yourself into it" happy - I mean truly satisfied with your life. Whatever defines that for you is what you should strive for. For me, it's having a happy marriage; a nice, cozy home; enough money to generally live the way I wish; and enough time to enjoy myself. I'm also a little stern here in my advice / observations. Please don't e-mail me telling me how I should be more flexible, etc. I already realize there are exceptions to everything.

One more disclaimer: You can disagree with anything I write here. This stuff works for me, and I believe in it. If you disagree, that's fine. I hope your way works for you, and you're truly as satisfied as I am. But please don't e-mail me to argue about it.

A last disclaimer: There's no real order to any of this - I'll add to this page as I think of different things. I'll put things in order when a publishing house throws me a few bucks to organize these thoughts

Ok, let's go:

• I believe in Karma. Not in any mystical way, mind you - I don't think there are invisible forces out there keeping tabs on us (wow, that would be a thankless job). But I do give it merit in a "this is the company you keep" way. In other words, if you are dishonest, you are more apt to have dishonesty happen to you. If you go around angry, you get anger back. If you are cheap, you will always have money issues. Etc. Want a better life? Start by being a (truly) better person to everyone else.
  
  
• Related to that, you know what is right, and what is wrong. And all too often, people do the wrong things, but try to convince themselves it's ok. What I mean here is this: I'll say something like "I think people should be honest." But really, is there anyone out there that would outwardly admit they are dishonest? Of course not. But there are millions of dishonest people. Where did they all come from if nobody thinks THEY are dishonest? So it's this simple - if you suspect, even a little, that something is wrong, don't do it. Ok?
  
  
• W-O-R-K. Working is good for you. Stop looking for ways to work less. They don't exist. Again, I do not know any successful people that skirt working.
  
  
• At work, worry about yourself, your own work, and your own compensation deal. Don't say/think things like "It's not fair - Dorothy in accounting makes more than me, but does nothing all day!" It doesn't matter what Dorothy makes or does (she's an idiot anyway). Focus on you and your work, and eventually, good things happen.
  
  
• More work stuff... you will never, EVER go wrong by being known as the person who gets things done. No excuses, no BS... you just somehow, some way, get it done. That's a valuable person to have around.
  
  
• Be on time. It's simply NOT that hard. Being late is a major character flaw. I do not know one chronically late person who is successful.
  
  
• Not that I advocate eating junk 24/7, but I've noticed that the people who seem overly concerned about what they eat are often the unhealthiest people around. They have all kinds of intolerances and other (grosser) issues. Lighten up, Hippie Pete - a Bic Mac once in a while isn't going to kill you.
  
  
• If you notice the cashier has given you too much change, and you don't give it back, then you aren't an honest person at all. Sorry about that.
  
  
• More on Karma - I know a guy who likes to "scam". If there's a way to get something free, he'll do it, even if it means lying. For example, he ate a meal in a popular chain restaurant a few years ago. He noticed on the receipt that there was a guarantee, and if you called and said you had a bad experience, you'd get a free meal. He called, and said such (he lied). He got a free meal, and was all proud that he scammed them. He's done stuff like this a lot. He's also had money issues all his life. Gee, I wonder why...
  
  
• I don't care if you "worked all week" - you do NOT "deserve" any reward that you have to put on credit and pay for later. Don't be a moron and go out to eat (etc) when you really can't afford to.
  
  
• In terms of household revenue, there is nothing more important than consistency. Put in 10 uninterrupted years of solid weekly paychecks and see what happens.
  
  
• There is no "balance". If you do bad / questionable / dishonest things, volunteering at the soup kitchen doesn't wash away anything.
  
  
• In general, debt is bad. Yes, a mortgage is ok. A car loan is also a reality. "The Credit Card Bill" isn't. If you can't pay your credit card in full every month, odds are, you are making big mistakes. Now I realize sometimes real emergencies happen. I'm not talking about that (nor are Christmas presents emergencies).
  
  
• If you are offended by my use of Christmas above (or think I should list "all" of the holidays), you are probably a pretty unpleasant person to be around. Work on that. A little PC is ok (and even needed to a degree), but it's gone to ridiculous levels.
  
  
• My first real job was as a dishwasher. I was 16. I really took to it, and became the best dishwasher in the place within a week (and soon got promoted to food prep). Almost everywhere I ever worked, I did the same - I became the best at what I did. I was the best stockperson, the best manager, the best computer guy, etc. Doing excellent work has always served me very well. It's easy to be the best, too - that's because most people are mediocre. Let me ask you something - are you the best at your job? If not, why aren't you?
  
  
• I think too many people are going to college for soft, useless stuff, and not enough are learning how to build and fix things. We have enough communications majors, kids. Odds are, a good plumber or welder will out-earn you threefold over your lifetimes.
  
  
• More on household finances - Maryellen and I have a fairly cheap house. It's not huge, nor do we have tons of land. You have no idea how "freeing" this is, and I fully recommend it. We pay less for a mortgage than most folks pay for rent. Too many people out there are working like dogs to pay for a huge mortgage. They have rooms they don't use, and land that does nothing but grow grass. We have 1/3rd of an acre and a 1,500 sq ft house, and every bit of it gets used to a degree.
  
  
• Exercise. I hit the treadmill every day (about 45 min - about 3 miles), and also use dumbbell weights when I walk on it. I think it's really important. Listen, I'm far from "fit", but exercising makes my life better all around. And it will yours, too. Get to it. And here's a quick tip if you have/want a treadmill - get an old laptop or small dvd player, and mount it on a small shelf at eye level. Now get some TV series (etc) on DVD. Makes you look forward to walking. Allow me to recommend The Wire to start out with.
  
  
• Friends... you are going to be about as successful as your friends are. Birds of a feather and all. Want a better life? Hang around with better people.
  
  
• Live on less than you earn. Ouch... I know that's foreign to many people, but it's the only way to go.